In order to emerge from this state
of loss and grief, and begin
a new life, people need not so much
a therapist as friends
who are prepared to walk with them.
These friends cannot nor should they try
to take away the grief,
but rather accept it with them.
The grieving process has its own particular
rhythm in each person. It needs time.
We should not try and make it disappear
quickly through artificial ways and distractions.
Sometimes people need
to cry, scream and shout their
pain, anger and frustration
in order to free themselves gradually
from the pain and find new life.
Depression,
that dark and painful force
which invades the deepest part
of our being and spreads throughout
our whole body, has its origins
in the wounds of our childhood
that we have never wanted
to own or to name. We have pushed them away
into the hidden recesses of our minds,
the unconscious self,
wanting to forget or even deny them.
But what happens if a child
does not feel
wanted, loved or appreciated?
...preventing him from becoming himself?
... witnesses violent scenes?
he develops a negative self-image
and terrible feelings of guilt;
he feels guilty that he exists.
...his whole body opens up and relaxes;
certain chemicals are released in the body.
Conversely, when he experiences the anguish
of rejection, fear and horrible nightmares,
then other chemicals are released.
The terrible reality that some children
live obliges them to put up solid barriers
within themselves
in order to protect themselves.
However, they do not sink
into a depressive state,
because their genetic make-up
is more resistant.
When some people reach adulthood
they idealize their parents;
they seem to have a desperate need
to have 'perfect' parents.
it is allowing trust and love
to conquer fear, prejudice and hate;
it is finding the inner strength to live
and accept our past
just as it is
In order to find new life
we have to react! We do not have to
become slaves to these feelings
which rise up in our consciousness,
but we must learn to manage them
so that we can gradually be
liberated from them.
We have to rediscover
who we are
and what we really want.
Frequently the person who feels
inferior, poor and broken
does not dare express
what she is experiencing.
'Nobody can understand me'
To be able to put words to the pain
is the beginning of liberation.
Invisible
Girl On Fire
Castle of Glass
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